


Treading Water

by peaceloveandjocularity, stateofintegrity



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: M/M, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, mention of conversion therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:35:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26637430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peaceloveandjocularity/pseuds/peaceloveandjocularity, https://archiveofourown.org/users/stateofintegrity/pseuds/stateofintegrity
Summary: Klinger falls through the ice - literally and within his mind. (Stems from dialogue in "Comrade in Arms")
Relationships: Maxwell Klinger/Charles Emerson Winchester III
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Treading Water

It wasn’t that Charles Emerson Winchester III had exactly expected the frozen creature he had rescued from the icy river to fall at his feet with gratitude, but he hadn’t expected him to look at him with such utter disappointment either. 

“Shoulda let me go, Major. Death is easier,” he coughed cold water from his lungs. “Than Korea.”

Charles didn’t dispute this. “Yes, probably. But you and I are alike, Maxwell, as you’ve taken such pains to show me. Easy is not something either of us is meant to experience.”

“You won’t put me back, huh?” 

“Your lips are blue and it’s ghastly,” Charles informed him, roughly rubbing warmth into his forearms. “ As it matches absolutely none of your outfits, I fear I cannot. Rules of fashion, you know."

Klinger managed a tired grin at this at least. “I’m sure I could find an outfit to match. Maybe I’ll get my wedding dress out and haunt Korea.”

“Haunting is only effectual if visited on the deserving. Haunt MacArthur if you must or your foolish ex-wife, but not all of Korea. Or, here is a thought, live, get warm, and re-purpose your wedding dress for a deserving groom.”

Klinger looked at him as if  _ he _ was the one deserving a section 8. “I’m not wearing that for a wedding again. It didn’t work the first time.”

“Then sew a new and better one and spite that dreadfully unfaithful woman with years of happiness. Either way, there will be no haunting - in white or out. Your poor hair has ice in it.”

“Major, half the time I feel like a ghost here anyway. Nobody sees me.”

“Feelings pass and change. When I first arrived here you offered to team up with me, do you remember?”

“Sure.” 

“Would you like to retract that offer or may I take you up on it?” He forced a mug into the man’s frozen hands. It was going to be weak tea, but it was warm and that was better than nothing. 

Klinger knotted his hands around the warmth. “You just dragged me out of a river so maybe that’s why, but you’re not making sense.” 

Speaking as clearly as he knew how, Charles said, “Would you like to team up? You’re drowning—most literally— and I often  _ feel _ like I am drowning. Going under to the pace and horror of this place. You and I could help each other. You spoke to me once about treading water but I am not confident, now, that either of us is even doing that very well.” 

“Why now? You wouldn’t go for it before.”

“I still had hope that I’d be transferred back to Tokyo then, I suppose. I am still hoping, of course, but if I am going to be here helping people, it may be beneficial to the both of us if I help you as well.” 

“Sure glad you weren’t in Tokyo tonight. But what do you get out of it?”

“Comfort in knowing I was able to help you— at least for tonight, a sense of worth perhaps.” 

“Not buying it. You’re a top notch surgeon. Your self worth is fine.”

“You are shivering, Max.” 

“You’re deflecting.” 

“I am not. I think you should let me sit with you. That many blankets should have warmed you up by now.” 

“Blankets don’t make heat, they just trap what I already have,” Klinger informed him. 

“All the more reason for me to share mine.” He left to retrieve them. When he returned, he said, “That is a terribly fierce face you’re making. You’ve shared a bunk here before when oil was low.” 

“I’m not saying no. I’m just wondering why you’d want to.” 

“Why would I object?”

The Corporal gestured to himself. 

“Yes. And?” 

He dropped not just his eyes, but his head. “No one else seems to want to.” 

“Luckily for you, their foolish forms are not here.”  _ Luckily, also, for  _ **_me_ ** _ , as dueling is immature…  _

“I guess. Your clothes are a bit damp though,” he noticed. “Sorry bout that Major.” 

“They will dry.” 

“Not if you don’t lay them out. You’re going to get cold and no one will have body heat.” 

“Far be it for me to contradict you on the care of clothing.”

A sad smile wobbled across his face. “Yeah, it’s the one thing I’m good at.” 

“I suspect you are overlooking a myriad of talents but in this I await your instructions.” 

Klinger still looked sad. “Sewing and scheming. But you knew that already. Just lay your clothes out over the back of the chair.” 

“There are other things, Max,” he said gently. “Though perhaps not swimming.” He left his jacket and pants hanging and wrapped up in a blanket. 

“I can swim fine.”

Charles hid a smile; he’d been trying for this. Getting Klinger to engage with him comforted him, made him hope he was coming out of the dark. “With my hand around your collar you can. Are you going to let me in there or not?”

Klinger made space. “Climb in. I  _ can _ swim though.” 

“As well as I can pitch and catch and play at billiards, I have no doubt. I am content that your abilities will not be hampered by frostbite.” 

The lightness between them fell away, ruined when Klinger held his eyes to say, quietly, “Did you stop and think maybe I didn’t want to swim?” 

Charles tried to shield them both from this. “I had hoped not, given the ice. If you are suggesting something more than that then I think it best I summon Dr. Freedman.”

Klinger just sighed; he’d tried to walk that road and found it blocked. “Sid won’t sign my section 8 any more than you.”

“Perhaps not, but this fixation on death you’ve acquired frightens me.”

Catlike as ever, Klinger responded to his distress by curling into his side. “It just… it’s all too much to handle sometimes. I’m sure you know what that’s like.” 

“Yes. But it is unfair that it should weigh so heavily on you. There is not enough of you to endure it.” He didn’t encircle the fragile thing’s waist, but he could have - had wished to do so many times.

“It’s why I’ve got so many dresses. ‘M trying to make more of myself to handle it.” 

“Clever. Maybe you need something between it and you."   


“That’s what the dresses are for, Major, aren’t you listening?”

Charles stroked his arm. He’d hauled the water-logged thing from the river; surely he was permitted this much? “They do not seem to be enough, Maxwell.” 

“Is anything enough over here?”

Deciding to be more honest, yet, more daring, Charles replied, “I would dearly like to discover the answer to that if you would permit it.” 

Klinger held his gaze. “I permit anything to make this place bearable.”

Charles let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Could it truly be this easy? Was he taking advantage? Could he stop himself if he was? He drew Max near. “You are very intelligent- have I said that recently?”

Dark eyes laughed at him. “Recently, Major? It tends to be the opposite. Please keep going.” 

“Praising you or petting you?”

“Both is fine.” 

“See? Brilliance in a phrase. It is my conjecture that no one has ever taken the time to find the right ways to touch you, but I should love to find them.” 

“I’m not gonna stop you.” 

Charles teased the nape of his neck, holding his chin to angle his head to kiss his neck, “Thank you.”

“You’re the one who got us here. Thank  _ you _ , Major.” 

Kisses fell on his dark hair. “Brilliance, manners, and looks - tell me again why you are single? Never mind. You are not.”

Klinger fought to get closer, keened under him. Behind his eyes, that cold river surged, chuckling under ice; he surged  _ toward _ Charles, trying to leave the memory of it - and what he had gone there for - behind. “I’m not?”

“No. Definitively, absolutely not. And even less so if you keep making that noise.”

Maybe this was the antidote to the river, to the forces that had sent him there. Maybe he could live for this. “You know that doesn’t make any sense.” 

The Major’s enormous hands were everywhere- gently appreciating all of him. Maybe, Klinger thought, that sweet stuff about finding out how to touch him hadn’t been just words; Charles clearly wasn’t touching him as other lovers had done, to get as much as they could as quickly as they could, chasing an outcome without caring how it was reached. 

“Don’t actually care, really.” 

Klinger laughed; his Harvard-educated boyfriend had hidden sides to him, it seemed - and they were pretty fun. “You know this is the most relaxed and the most keyed up I think I’ve ever seen you. It’s an interesting combination, Major.” 

“I agree. I both like and am frightened by it, especially considering all I have done is touch you a little. I… I have wanted to touch you for so long.” 

_ Please don’t ever stop.  _ “You’ve got a real knack for it. I’m definitely warmer.” 

Charles gave him a grin then that curled his toes; Max hadn’t known he was capable. “Darling, I do not know how to say this properly, but I imagine that I could make you warmer yet… inside of me.” 

_ Maybe I did drown. Paradise is supposed to reward you, right?  _ “We won’t know unless we try, right?” 

Then the Corporal must have blacked out for a minute. “What are you doing, Major?”

The use of his rank nearly made him roll his eyes. He settled for replying, “Delicate, non military maneuvers. And, as a bonus, we get to see just how warm you can get.” But his eyes searched out Klinger’s. “You can say no, beautiful. I want to please you.” 

“You saved my life  _ and  _ you want to give me an orgasm!? Why would I ever say no?” 

“Good. Don’t. I have other things I would much rather hear.” 

“Charles!”

“That is one of them. I told you that you were smart.” 

Klinger panted. He loved to be praised, but he wanted to move this along. “There’s some stolen lube in my footlocker, you know.” 

Charles made a happy sound and kissed him for the theft. “Good girl, Corporal, whatever.”

“All that.”  _ All yours.  _

“Yes. I babble when overwrought.”

Breathless laughter thrilled him, warmed him. “You!?”

“Imagining you inside me? Yes, that is one term I would use.”

“Footlocker.  _ Now _ . Please.” 

“Demanding little pet.” But his eyes shined, flattered. 

“I said please!!” 

“And not for the last time this evening, I suspect. I assume I am in charge of preparations, or would you prefer to take over?” 

“My fingers aren’t shaking, Major. Get over here.” He smiled at what was increasingly feeling like one hell of a conquest. “Since when do surgeons’ hands  _ shake _ , sir?” 

“When they, ah, have someone as gorgeous as you to bed them. And you will not speak a word of shaky hands to anyone else, correct?” 

“Of course not.” But his smile was smug. 

“I don’t like the way you said that.”

“You’ll forget all about it in a minute, trust me.” He winked. “I’ve done this to myself lots. You know we’re going to need to shower after this right?”

Caught up in the man’s voice and touch and nearness, Charles gaped as he realized Klinger was  _ bantering  _ with him as he readied him.  _ Little minx. Exquisite menace.  _ “Maxwell, why are you trying to procrastinate with trivial things? How can you scheme past  _ now _ ?” 

Klinger curled his fingers and winked. “I’m a good multi-tasker.”

Charles shuddered. “Stop trying to destroy me so early.”

“Just being thorough. Thought you’d appreciate that, being a doctor.” 

“ _ Stop…  _ God, now I sound like you.” 

“You sound needy. Luckily for you I like being needed.” 

“Being needed?” He groaned, chased his touch. “Or answering a need?”

“Both. You know, Major, you can do whatever you want up there, especially with those big hands of yours.”

Those hands had braced on his chest, had held his hips down. “Shaky, remember?” 

“Doesn’t matter, sir,” he smirked, “if you’re holding me down to ride me, but sure, use that as an excuse.” 

“Max, lovely, you will be pleased to hear you outrank me, it seems, in your ability to endure some things. You are always on top in some regards, it would seem.” 

“Just enjoying the view, Major.” 

“All that winking will ruin me.”

“Don’t you dare close your eyes. C’mon on, Major, warm me up.” 

No one at MASH 4077 would have described Charles Emerson Winchester III as graceful, but he did possess a move or two: this was one. 

It was worth it to see the look on Klinger’s face. 

“... fast, Major…” 

“You did as much to me.” 

“I was being thorough!” 

“Now you are thoroughly warmed.” Klinger was not the only one who could banter in a compromising (if pleasurable) position. 

“Are you sure? Still feel a bit chilled, sir.” His skin remembered the temperature of the river; he pushed the memory away. 

“Careful, sweetling. You may get in over your, ah, head.” 

Black water went over his head, swallowed him as he strained  _ not  _ to swallow death, ached for air… “ _ Please _ .”

“I will remind you that you said as much.” 

Klinger whined as the pace increased. “This might be over faster than we intended, Major.”

“In too deep, precious?”

“Celibate too long.”

“Nice try.” His smile was knowing. 

“Hey, it  _ has _ been too long. I know ‘cause I was there.” 

“Mmm-hmm. Time is a factor, I am sure. But it is not the only factor.”

“You want me to flatter you, Major?”

“If I earn it, yes.”

“You do look quite pretty up there.”

“With you inside me, I imagine I am at my best.”

Klinger moaned; the man could be good when he wanted to, especially when he combined the motions of his hips with that voice. “I’ll make sure to be there as often as I can,” he managed, throat tight.

“You have always been welcome, Max, since I arrived.”

Klinger thrashed under him. “You coulda told me sooner!”

“I did not know how.”

“This would’ve done it.” It was doing it now, unraveling him in the best possible way. 

“Oh? Imagine it with me then. Your pretty dress, my dress uniform, me begging you to do whatever you wish.”

Klinger closed his eyes to see it, tried to hold it between himself now in this man’s arms and the river. “We can still make that happen,” he tried to promise. 

“I enjoy a reenactment.”

Klinger wrapped a hand around him and began to guide him to the edge. He knew he wasn’t going to last long and he wanted Charles to join him. 

“Cheat.”

“You wanted a reenactment, sir. We have to get through this time first. And it’s not cheating. I just don’t want to finish alone.”

Charles liked the sound of that. “Isn’t a simultaneous end ambitious?”

“I’ll take a close finish.”

Charles lifted a teasing eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware it was a race.”

“Don’t do this  _ Winchester _ .”

“I have no idea what you mean, Maxwell.” 

“Don’t wink! That’s my thing! You don’t get to win  _ and _ wink!”

“Does the winking turn you on, dear girl?”

“No!”

“No?”

“I plead the fifth.”

“I do like it when you plead.”

“You’re gonna love the next part then.” 

“You’re close.”

Klinger smiled with too-dark eyes and flushed cheeks. “Have been this whole time. But I’d rather beg you to finish than worry about it. If you finish now, you’ll mark my chest, maybe my throat.” 

It was a tempting vision. 

“Wouldn't you want to mark me Major? Make sure everyone else knows I'm yours?”

“Having you at all is more than I deserve.” 

“Yeah, but there's winning quietly and there's parading the trophy around.” 

“That is more my style.” But he chose a different kind of mark, kissing him high enough up on his neck that no dress would hide the lovingly made bruise. 

“I’m going to lose it if you don’t get off, Major.” 

“Please. That you are still talking tells me that I am not doing nearly a good enough job.”

“Maybe I’m holding back because I don’t want it to end.” When it did, Charles would go. He would be cold again. Lost again. Would hear cold water rushing through dead stones… 

“It will not be  _ the  _ end, Max. Just an end. Please? For me?” 

Max gave in, let Charles praise him as he fell. He was still praising him when he surfaced, and that voice turned him on all over again. “Be quiet, Major. I’m spent, don’t make me sore.” 

Charles began to chase his own end. Klinger pushed him on with his eyes, called him on with his voice. When it had ended and they settled together, Charles kissed the corners of his eyes, the edge of his mouth. “Darling, I hate that I was not here with you from the start. I hate that other arms ever held you.” 

Klinger blinked through his surprise. He hadn’t expected Charles to stay. He definitely hadn’t expected to be held. “Nobody wants me, Major. You don’t need to be jealous. They all had their chance before you got here and no one took it.” 

“The combined IQ of this camp must be perilous low then.” 

Klinger shrugged in his arms. “I get it.”

Charles felt suddenly cold; there was something hollow in this dear thing’s voice, something that felt apart from Klinger, something he didn’t entirely trust. “Explain.” 

“I just… I understand is all.”  _ Some people can look at me and see it. Everything messed up. Everything broken.  _ But Charles had just seen him at his most vulnerable and had not found him wanting. 

“You are not undesirable, Maxwell. Not in any part of you or way.” 

His sad smile returned. “Old habits and thoughts die hard, I guess.”  _ And they’re getting worse.  _

“I see. Well, I shall continue to fight and slay them as best I can with your beautiful frame distracting me.” 

“I look forward to it, Major.” But he didn’t believe there would be enough time. 

“We are more alike than you guess. I have dark spaces, too.” 

This made Max straighten and search his face. “You aren’t going to tell me?”

“Not tonight. I have no wish to mingle your loveliness and those old horrors.” 

“I’ll light them up if you'll let me.”

Charles kissed his brow. “You did that long ago in a yellow dress.” 

“I'll make more yellow dresses then.” 

“Thank you. I have dreamed of you in impossible sorbet colors you know - mermaid sea foam and burning mango... it all fell to the floor the same.” 

“Probably a lot prettier than what happened tonight.”

“I was merely worried about seeing you warm and well.” 

“And now?” 

“If you wish to dress back up, my pretty one, I will happily undress you. It will be slower this time but I believe I can yet please you.” 

“I'm plenty pleased. I was wondering if you thought I was well.”

Charles felt over him, mostly as an excuse to touch more of him. “If the cold did no harm to your lungs.” 

“But mentally?” 

“Max, I do not think you are crazy. Only coping with a mad place. Alice wasn’t crazy - Wonderland was.” 

“You'd have to be crazy to enjoy this place I think.”

“All of it, yes,” Charles agreed. This, too, was a bond between them; they had both fought hard to escape. “The small part we make, touching, though? Is it so bad?” 

Klinger smiled against his skin. “No.”

“Well there’s that then. With you, I can believe there is nothing beyond this.”

“Until the choppers come in.”

“Your realistic streak is ruining my romantic interlude.”

“Sorry.” 

“I can hear your brain buzzing with thoughts. Spill it, Max.” 

The Corporal smiled; some things didn’t change. “Would you be mad if it was self loathing?”

Charles’ opened his eyes. They were dark with concern. “Mad? No. Concerned. Is this loathing connected to what we just did?” Perhaps he had pushed too hard. And at the wrong moment. 

“No. No, not at all. I'm just thinking about... the river.”

Charles wondered if the army corps of engineers might be compelled to dam the thing, even as he damned it in his thoughts. “Yes? Go on.” 

“If you hadn't pulled me out…” 

“If I had not pulled you out and you had drowned there, then MASH 4077th would be down one incredibly pretty Corporal and a thoracic surgeon, my love.” 

“I'm sure the thoracic surgeon would have been fine... wouldn't he?” 

“No, darling, he would not. He would not have made it three hours past the news.” 

“Three hours?”

“Doctors know how to do some things very well.” 

Klinger pressed closer into his side. This changed things. He couldn’t let the river return… not if it was going to come for Charles, too. 

“You’re alright,” the surgeon said into his hair, soothing him. 

“I’d like to be,” Klinger peeked out at him, all dark and earnest eyes, “especially if this continues.” 

“You have some reason to believe it will not? That you are not?”

He turned away from that sharp gaze. “You’re already getting irritated with me.”

“I am merely ascertaining information. I am not irritated, but concerned. I want to know why you think there is something wrong with you, why you fear that I may go.”

Max thought about telling the truth, but settled, in the end, for a lie he knew Charles would believe. “I wasn't enough for Laverne to stay. and we dated since high school. What if I'm just a wartime fling?”

Charles kissed him before saying, “You may have noticed certain differences- intellectual, physical - between me and our lady of the Maumee River, Max. I’ve no intention of repeating her mistakes.”

“But what if you find someone better?”

“Even if I did somehow find such a creature, I love  _ you _ . I do not lightly pledge myself, Max. You may have noticed I am not married.”  _ Yet.  _

“I just figured you weren't interested in anyone like that.”

“You were correct. I am not - except for you. If you require proof of my intentions, we can contact my sister. She knows how I feel about you.” 

“I… good things don’t come my way, Major. I don’t wanna lose this.”  _ And I don’t know if I can help it.  _ The water was rising there at the edge of things, licking quietly at the safe circle he had found. 

Charles couldn’t hear it. “If you wish to dress, I will find you witnesses, Max.” He liked the notion; weddings, too, had witnesses. 

“Who?” 

“Honoria, Pierce (which also means, of necessity, Hunnicutt), Kellye, the Colonel - do you require others?”

“Can’t we just lay here? I don't need them ragging on me for the river. They’ll know.”

Charles tried to understand how a walk and an accident could distress Klinger so much… but the Corporal was something of the camp whipping boy (and girl); maybe he just didn’t want to hand anyone ammunition. 

“Of course. I would make no reference to the river and I will say nothing if you wish it. I just know of no other way to assure you.” 

Klinger sighed. “You don't have to tell them. They’ll just  _ know _ .”  _ They always see the wrong stuff in me right away… they just never help me fix it.  _ “Radar probably knows already.”

“He can be a bit of a spooky chap,” Charles agreed. “Is there some other form of proof I can give?”

Klinger shook his head. “Just give me time? And don't leave me?”

“Of course. As you will not leave me.”

Klinger kissed him, but he said nothing.

In the morning, Charles woke alone, a note beside him. 

“Major,” it read, “I really didn’t mean to go through the ice. I tried other things - medicine I read about - but it didn’t work and I don’t want to stay where you are because the river will take you, too. I don’t want to be a burden. Not to the Colonel, here. Not to anyone back home. Thanks for loving me and please don’t try to follow me.

Max”

Charles blinked, re-read, panicked, and ran for Potter. 

That day, a full-scale search ranged up and down the camp. At day’s end, when they lost the light, the surgeons grouped together to look for signs. 

Letters, clipped articles and a journal told them what Klinger feared he was facing: a worsening mental decline, an ungentle madness that swept up the stakes that kept him anchored. 

As they made this discovery - confirmed by Mulcahy - Charles grew pale. 

“He spoke of the river,” he murmured. “I… I didn’t see. I didn’t understand.” 

The Colonel gripped his shoulder. “Chin up, Major. None of us saw it either, and he never came to us, though I can’t guess why. He knows we care for him.” 

“He wouldn’t have wanted to disappoint you, sir. Colonel… how can I say, ever again, that I am a good doctor? The love of my life was bleeding  _ in my arms _ and I didn’t notice.” 

“You don’t get a monopoly on self-pity, here, Winchester. Or on what you ‘should have seen.’ Now, I know how close you watch after Klinger and I know you’d never hurt him, but that boy’s been like a son and a daughter to me and  _ I  _ didn’t see either - and I’ve got a few more years practicing medicine than you. Pierce didn’t see it, or Blake in his time, either. The important thing now is to find him and get him whatever help he needs.” 

“Colonel?” 

“Major?” 

“Do you think… I could not look it up myself… do you think…?”

Potter took pity on him. “No, son. The boy’s always known his own heart and, since you got here, he’s only had eyes for you.” 

Charles prayed it could be true. 

Not everyone took well to Charles’ display of concern. BJ had never approved of his interest in Klinger and did so even less when he confessed the details of their night together. 

“You should have noticed,” the surgeon from the sunshine state scolded his fellow cutter. “You probably would have, too, if you hadn’t been so busy getting him into bed!” 

“You two have served with Max for years!” Charles shot back. “Why didn’t you see it?” 

Potter broke his dueling surgeons apart. “This isn’t helping.” 

At that moment, Radar sprinted into the circle. “It’s Sidney, Colonel, Major Freedman. He’s got Klinger. He’s okay.” 

They trooped, together, to the office, where Sidney reassured them over the phone and outlined the treatment plan he intended to follow. Barring any unforeseen complications, the Corporal would be back at the 4077th in four weeks. 

Before his return, the Corporal called home to apologize to the man he loved, explained. “Major… baby…” It was all he could manage at first and Charles thought it sounded beautiful indeed. 

“I would buy tickets,” he murmured, “to sit and listen to you say that. Especially if you threw in my name on occasion.” 

“You… Charles, you’re my best friend. Did I ever tell you that?”

“You did not need to.” 

“Still think you want to be? I’m guessing Sidney told you everything ...He says I just have to take a pill every day… it shouldn’t come back like it did, but I get it if you don’t want…”

“Maxwell, beloved, if you shape your lovely lips around the word ‘burden’ or anything of its ilk, I will quite call off your welcome home party and return the dresses with which I have crowded our tent.”

“Dresses like a  _ bunch _ ?”

“In as many colors as there are flowers. I know you like options.”

“Aquamarine?”

“Of course not. I listen.” He sounded almost peevish that Max might think he did otherwise. 

“Our tent?” 

“You may evict me at your leisure, though I  _ did  _ organize your sewing box and find you some better blankets and it will mean my return to the Swamp…” 

Klinger could imagine the way he shuddered as he said this. “You’d better stay. I’m not gonna go through any more ice, Major, promise, but I’m still kinda scared of this thing in me. I’d really like it if you’d stick around and watch over me.” 

“For as long as you permit it. One condition, if I may?”

“I’d say you earned a few.”

“If you need to leave again for any reason, please let me take you or go with you. I worry terribly when you are out of my sight.” 

“I’ll see you soon, Major baby.”  _ You and those eyes of yours.  _ “And I won’t leave you again.” 

***

The camp brightened on Klinger’s return as a garden will after a warm summer shower refreshes uplifted leaves. Sidney had spoken to Potter and assured him that Max could safely return to guard duty and the OR. It seemed that some mental illness existed in his maternal uncles and the young man had believed he was doomed to suffer their struggles - to lose jobs, to be in and out of jail. The truth was both simpler and much more complex. Klinger’s challenges were wicked migraines (previously untreated), depression, a nonconforming gender identity that exacerbated his fear about returning to the world outside the 4077th… and all of this on top of overwork, exhaustion, hunger, illness and the fear that he was unwanted and deeply inferior to his found family. But Sidney was a mental healer on par with the 4077th’s physical ones and he returned Max bright-eyed and sounding like himself (and he even drove him back, planning to reward himself with poker). 

At the party, Klinger was the actual belle of the ball, changing costumes every half hour because what was the point of having lovely new things if no one admired them? But no one who saw them together ever forgot the transformation that Klinger’s safe return wrought in Major Charles Emerson Winchester III; the doors were flung open a store of gentleness and a cache of compassion of which the camp had been entirely unaware… and it far outshined Maxwell’s costumes, even as he escorted the younger man on his arm like a new husband showing off his bride. 

As the evening wound down (blessedly without choppers), Max changed once more - back into the outfit he’d worn on the night when he’d plunged through the ice only to end up in Winchester’s arms. Charles paled to see it and quaked to be led back to the river, its voice quieted now by thickened ice, but Klinger insisted. “You need to see it. You won’t be okay ‘til you see me and it and know it’s okay.” 

So, Charles held him in the cold wind and they watched the water until it was not some terrible, personal Rubicon, not some place of dying - just a watercourse in a country neither man belonged in. And there, with the Corporal warm and pretty in his arms, Charles confided that he had lived the fear that had haunted Klinger - being confined to an asylum. He spoke of the threats (lobotomy, chemical castration) and the tortures (drugs, electroshock) and when he finished, Max wept for him - but thanked him for the gift. He didn’t have to ask; he knew that no one else knew about it. “You’re really brave, Major baby.” 

“I tell it only to banish the shadows between us. To show you that I understand. That I will help. I am sorry that I was not enough that night.” 

“I didn’t go because you didn’t make me feel safe, silly. I went to keep  _ you _ safe. I didn’t want you to see it catch up with me.”

“I did not intend this to be merely your welcome back party, you know.” 

“I got a costume party out of it, too.” He lifted the hem (magenta) to show off a golden heel that laced up and up until Charles couldn’t help wondering if it terminated only at his garter. “You spent too much money, y’know.” 

“What I have is yours, my pretty one. Always if you will have me.”

Everything clicked. “An engagement party, too, huh?” 

“Mmm-hmm. They merely await your word to congratulate you. I, however, await it to see meaning and comfort and love return to my life. Maxwell al-Qurhah Klinger, would you be mine here and always? In sickness and in health? In war and in peace?”

“On dry land and in rivers even.” His eyes shined with sudden tears. 

“I will carry you over the rivers.”

“Deal, Major. Now let’s go show off my ring. If the dresses were this nice, it’s gotta be something.”

_ Nothing _ , Charles thought, laughing and letting the Corporal lead him back to their tent where the promised ring was hiding in the sewing box,  _ compared to you, Maxwell.  _

Left out in the cold, the river drifted off to sleep. 

End! 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
